Martini time

It's Friday afternoon. So needless to say that means I'll probably be drinkin' in a couple hours. Hooray for happy hour!

Just a note to any interested parties...


And for the record, that's extra dirty. How do you like yours????

Your mom goes to college

...oh yeah? Well your mom smokes crack. So there.


Available soon at my Etsy store. For now, I give you Wesley Willis & his ode to crack smokin mommas.

My! What a large snake you have.

There's just so many hilarious sexual innuendos that one may choose from. At times it can get downright hard. So why choose? Go on and just take the easy way out.


What's your go-to sexual innuendo? Here's a couple to get you started:
- I have nothing to put my wiener in.
- Where did you get all that wood?
- I had to beat off three other guys just to get this place in line.
- I'm going Downtown.

Not Your Grandma's

This piece is little, cute and features a lovely pearl necklace. Of course this is Stitch Out Loud - so I'm not really referring to the kind your grandma wore. That is, unless she was one dirty bird.


On sale at my etsy store. Now go forth and buy!

That's ReCOCKulous

This piece is so awesome it's not ridiculous, or even redonkulous...it's reCOCKulous. Well that and it features a large strapping cock.

So this one is for those of you that appreciate a lovely cock or just like flaunting one...ennnnn-joy!



Just for laughs...here are a couple of my favorite quotes/entries from urbandictionary.com.
Sam, look at that enormous cock!
That cock woke me up a 3 AM this morning!
This cock is mine.
My cock could kill you.

It's Not My Fault

I cuss.
I swear.
I have a dirty mouth.
But let's pretend it's not my fault. It's just my fucking Tourette's.



The perfect justification for spewing obscenities and profanities to your heart's content. Finally!

Happy Birth-tizzle Mr. Lincoln

So its Ab Lincoln's birthday today. If he were still alive he'd be hella old and probably scared of a whole lotta awesome technology. Anywho, in honor of the 200th anniversary of his birth, I submit to you a little anti-war piece. (A stretch..agreed. What-ev-skis)

As I've said before there are a lot of things in world that are much better to make than war...sandwiches, fun, good time and even awkward sexual advances.


Cheers!

Ode #1 to February Observances

So I'm jumping the gun a little bit - but in case you didn't know, February 27 - 31 is Texas Cowboy Poetry Week. So in observance I submit to you my cowboy cross stitch piece, because even cowboys who write poetry are bad ass motherfuckers. Hot.

Don't Hassel the Hoff...

...love the sexy out of him.


The world fell in love with David Hasselhoff for his hair, his car named KITT, his mad lyrics and tunes, his lifeguard tan, his pugs, his drunken rages, and most of all his sexy.

This is my latest in celeb "man candy" pieces - capturing the greatness that is the Hoffenator.

De-lisch.