Not all that bad

When work is crazy, when I get down on myself about any one of my numerous vices, or when everything seems just a little too overwhelming. Where do I go when a need a happy place?

I like to sit back, take a deep breathe, and realize that life could be a whole lot different. Then I smile, and wave down the server for another extra dirty martini.

Even Bad Asses Love Stitch Out Loud

As you can see even studly, bad-to-the-bone(rs) like Mr. Fuji need some Stitch Out Loud awesomeness.


This is a picture from a customer of mine. It cracks me up. What else could a pet frog need in his life but a volcano-like water bowl, some mulchy looking stuff, a few flies, a tropical plant, and of course a "Fuck that shit." cross stitch.

Yes.

Thanks C.

What a Bastard

Just in case you didn't know there are NUMEROUS meanings and definitions for the word: Bastard.

Child born to parents who are not married to one another
Blackletter typeface
Type of color gel
Township in Ontario, Canada
Gothic script
Classification of the teeth of a metalworking file
Type of longsword
Former name of the band Motörhead
Fucking jerk

Of course, my preferred use of the word is hands down the profane, derogatory one. Here it is a little ditty I whipped up. Stitched on canvas this little bastard keeps me company in my kitchen.

Teamwork

Lesson #47: Teamwork. A selfish partner is no bueno when it comes to matters of the heart...or the bedroom.

Sylvester Stabone-r!

AGENDA ITEM #1:
Check out this quaint, Perez-esque, oh so rockin' boner.
Added Bonus: its small enough to fit in your pocket, allowing you to bring the loving on the road.

ME: "Oh hey there. Is that a banana in your pocket
or are you just happy to see me?"

YOU: "Its a boner."

Available soon at my Etsy store

AGENDA ITEM #2:
Congrats to the winners of my first Twitter promotion. The lucky ladies won some St!#ch Out Loud lovin' in the form of stickers. Now its up to them to do their part, and send crafty obscenities into the world on their own.


If you're jealous...its okay. I plan on having more giveaways for my blog & Twitter followers - just hold on tight. Just keep checking in, and ruling school as you do so well. If you want your own stickers - you can get your own set at my etsy shoppee too.

Win? Free?! Stitch Out Loud?!? Awesomeness?!?!

Yesssssssss.

Follow me on Twitter and see what its all about. This is the first in a series of sweet-ass Twitter exclusive give aways. And its a quickie (pun intended). So get while the gettin's good folks!