The Multifunctional Comeback

Use it any time, any place. It's pretty much perfect.


Face!

A Little Motivation for When You Need It Most

It's Wednesday. Work is busy. Nothing good is on TV. The weekend seems like light years away. Summer is fading. Pay day isn't until next week. And you ran out of coffee again.

Hey Debbie Downer - don't let negativity get the best of you. Remember to make the most of the moment, and to quote Tracy Morgan, "Live every week like it's Shark Week."



Hells-to-the-yeahs.

Fuckstick Friday

This is today's Friday "F" word.

So simple.
So direct.
So awesome.

Now go forth - and rock it this weekend!

I'm no angel...

...because it's simply more fun to be rowdy & mischievous.

Thank you for being a friend.

Let's be frank. The Golden Girls were some hot ass HILARIOUS chickies.

This is my celebration of the loveable Bea Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanaha and Estelle Getty.



Here's a great "Golden" Moments clip from YouTube for your viewing enjoyment.



I think I've always been a Dorthy...or maybe a Blanche...or maybe a little of both. Which golden girl are you?

If Snoop Dogg was a Grandma...

He'd have gin & juice for breakfast, pot shaped dollies and, of course, this little piece in his entry way.

The nice weather always inspires

Why spend the nice summer weather doing silly things like biking, camping and talking long walks? I say the best way to enjoy a fine sunny day is with a bevie in hand. If you can do any of the above with a drink...even better.

Here's a little ditty that I feel wraps up my sentiments perfectly.


Man, I love Jack Handy.

In Memory

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk all that junk inside your trunk

"We snapped our necks 'round, lost the beat of the funk, and laid our eyes upon Maryjane's beautiful badunkadunk." -Urbandictionary.com

Although I was not "blessed" with a badunkadunk...here's to all the ladies that were.



I suppose this is also a tribute to Sir Mix-a-lot too. Because I basically had a dance to the entire Baby Got Back song in Middle School. It was pretty awesome. Holla.

"Arnold" WTF Celebriphrase #2

He's been Mr. Universe, the Terminator, Kindergarten Cop and even the Governor of California. He's also tall, brawny and infamous for all the "amazing" things that come out of his mouth.

This WTF celebriphrase celebrates (or blatently laughs at) Arnold's great bod, and his even greater conversational skills.


Available soon at my Etsy shop.

What a Bastard

Just in case you didn't know there are NUMEROUS meanings and definitions for the word: Bastard.

Child born to parents who are not married to one another
Blackletter typeface
Type of color gel
Township in Ontario, Canada
Gothic script
Classification of the teeth of a metalworking file
Type of longsword
Former name of the band Motörhead
Fucking jerk

Of course, my preferred use of the word is hands down the profane, derogatory one. Here it is a little ditty I whipped up. Stitched on canvas this little bastard keeps me company in my kitchen.

Throw your hands up!

This one is a shout out to all my gay guy friends - and the men and women who love them. There are just some things that are more fun to go out and do with a gay boy...period. Am I right or am I right?


SIDE NOTE: So just to clarify I'm talking about Moe as in Ho-mo-sexual. I am definitely not referring to the Japanese slang world for the fetish or love for characters in anime (which I just found out apparently is "Moe"...yikes). I'm just a total dumb ass and completely misspelled the word (usually Mo). So, let's just pretend there are two ways to spell Mo. Coolio? Yes.

It's Friday - Have a Beer!

A while back I did a cross stitch for Dogfish Head beer, and they used it in an ad. It's a kick-ass beer, and the ad is pretty kickin' as well if I do say so myself (insert humbleness here).

Here's the cross stitch:


Here's the print ad:






Happy Friday Playas.

Loving & Cocktails Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Some people enjoy the occasional [...or daily] happy hour.

I do both.


(Yes, those are mini hearts & livers in case you were wondering...)

I bet unicorns have big dongs.

Unicorns are pretty awesome. They're magical. They have one giant horn. They star in hilarious YouTube videos. AND...they play by their own rules - which makes them pretty bad ass.

Here are some examples of just how rad unicorns are:
Charlie the Unicorn
Planet Unicorn
Rollerskating Unicorn

Oh...and I forgot, they without a doubt are definitely packing downstairs.