The nice weather always inspires

Why spend the nice summer weather doing silly things like biking, camping and talking long walks? I say the best way to enjoy a fine sunny day is with a bevie in hand. If you can do any of the above with a drink...even better.

Here's a little ditty that I feel wraps up my sentiments perfectly.


Man, I love Jack Handy.

In Memory

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk all that junk inside your trunk

"We snapped our necks 'round, lost the beat of the funk, and laid our eyes upon Maryjane's beautiful badunkadunk." -Urbandictionary.com

Although I was not "blessed" with a badunkadunk...here's to all the ladies that were.



I suppose this is also a tribute to Sir Mix-a-lot too. Because I basically had a dance to the entire Baby Got Back song in Middle School. It was pretty awesome. Holla.

"Arnold" WTF Celebriphrase #2

He's been Mr. Universe, the Terminator, Kindergarten Cop and even the Governor of California. He's also tall, brawny and infamous for all the "amazing" things that come out of his mouth.

This WTF celebriphrase celebrates (or blatently laughs at) Arnold's great bod, and his even greater conversational skills.


Available soon at my Etsy shop.

What a Bastard

Just in case you didn't know there are NUMEROUS meanings and definitions for the word: Bastard.

Child born to parents who are not married to one another
Blackletter typeface
Type of color gel
Township in Ontario, Canada
Gothic script
Classification of the teeth of a metalworking file
Type of longsword
Former name of the band Motörhead
Fucking jerk

Of course, my preferred use of the word is hands down the profane, derogatory one. Here it is a little ditty I whipped up. Stitched on canvas this little bastard keeps me company in my kitchen.

Throw your hands up!

This one is a shout out to all my gay guy friends - and the men and women who love them. There are just some things that are more fun to go out and do with a gay boy...period. Am I right or am I right?


SIDE NOTE: So just to clarify I'm talking about Moe as in Ho-mo-sexual. I am definitely not referring to the Japanese slang world for the fetish or love for characters in anime (which I just found out apparently is "Moe"...yikes). I'm just a total dumb ass and completely misspelled the word (usually Mo). So, let's just pretend there are two ways to spell Mo. Coolio? Yes.

It's Friday - Have a Beer!

A while back I did a cross stitch for Dogfish Head beer, and they used it in an ad. It's a kick-ass beer, and the ad is pretty kickin' as well if I do say so myself (insert humbleness here).

Here's the cross stitch:


Here's the print ad:






Happy Friday Playas.

Loving & Cocktails Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Some people enjoy the occasional [...or daily] happy hour.

I do both.


(Yes, those are mini hearts & livers in case you were wondering...)

I bet unicorns have big dongs.

Unicorns are pretty awesome. They're magical. They have one giant horn. They star in hilarious YouTube videos. AND...they play by their own rules - which makes them pretty bad ass.

Here are some examples of just how rad unicorns are:
Charlie the Unicorn
Planet Unicorn
Rollerskating Unicorn

Oh...and I forgot, they without a doubt are definitely packing downstairs.

Teamwork

Lesson #47: Teamwork. A selfish partner is no bueno when it comes to matters of the heart...or the bedroom.

"Oh Mariah" WTF Celebriphrase #1

I like celebrities. They entertain in so many ways. They sing, they act, they canoodle, and of course say the darndest things. This is my first in a series of glorious "WTF Celebriphrases."


Urbandictionary.com defines a celebriphrase as:
An unbelievable stupid comment said by a celebrity, that is laughed at and mocked by everyone across the nation.

I'm excited. Are you?

Smart AND Sexy

Harry Potter
Clark Kent
Buddy Holly
Dame Edna
Garth
Corey Delaney

I think the list speaks for itself...

Sylvester Stabone-r!

AGENDA ITEM #1:
Check out this quaint, Perez-esque, oh so rockin' boner.
Added Bonus: its small enough to fit in your pocket, allowing you to bring the loving on the road.

ME: "Oh hey there. Is that a banana in your pocket
or are you just happy to see me?"

YOU: "Its a boner."

Available soon at my Etsy store

AGENDA ITEM #2:
Congrats to the winners of my first Twitter promotion. The lucky ladies won some St!#ch Out Loud lovin' in the form of stickers. Now its up to them to do their part, and send crafty obscenities into the world on their own.


If you're jealous...its okay. I plan on having more giveaways for my blog & Twitter followers - just hold on tight. Just keep checking in, and ruling school as you do so well. If you want your own stickers - you can get your own set at my etsy shoppee too.

Win? Free?! Stitch Out Loud?!? Awesomeness?!?!

Yesssssssss.

Follow me on Twitter and see what its all about. This is the first in a series of sweet-ass Twitter exclusive give aways. And its a quickie (pun intended). So get while the gettin's good folks!

I like big packages. I like meat.

I'm a Wisconsin girl at heart. Need I say more?