For those times when one profanity just isn't enough

Turns out two wrongs DO make a right.

Not all that bad

When work is crazy, when I get down on myself about any one of my numerous vices, or when everything seems just a little too overwhelming. Where do I go when a need a happy place?

I like to sit back, take a deep breathe, and realize that life could be a whole lot different. Then I smile, and wave down the server for another extra dirty martini.

The meaning of love

I thought I would give the Stitch Out Loud masses a little warm up to the quickly approaching Valentine's Day. And what's more inspiring in the realm of lovey-dovey-ness than the 1970 classic Love Story?

Even if you are not familiar with the movie, the plot or the actors, or simply weren't alive when this movie was released - you without a doubt are familiar with the famous quote:

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Little did you know this quote came out of editing. Below I submit to you the originally scripted line, recorded forever in cross stitch awesomeness.

My favorite Disney movie

A kick ass coworker of mine, Rich, and I were discussing Disney movies the other day over lunch. (Feel free to laugh and make fun of me here....Lord knows I would). Anyways - Mary Poppins quickly rose to the top as both of our favs.

So...in dedication I submit to you the following. Appropriate for any occasion. (As long as that occasion does not include little kids, great grandparents or crotchety stuffy anti-profanity zealots.)

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

...these are a few of my favorite things.

Okay, okay. Vices. Whatevs. Ta-mato, toe-mato.

Bottom line: I have more vices than I can shake a stick at. But here are some of my favs. Naturally...I thought this piece worthy of a Friday post.

Ho, Ho, Hoe

What's not to love about a big tall dude that travels the world and give you lots of presents?


Available soon at my Etsy shop!

Naughty or Nice?

Usually I'm a COMPLETE angel...but this year I decided to move over to the fun side.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

That's right...the holiday season rapidly approaches. I have to confess that I'm a total sucker for holiday ambiance so stitched up a couple goodies.

Here's the first for your viewing pleasure:


More to come over the next few days. Cheers!

The Hearting Things Series - #2

As a wise man once said...


You should probably buy this for someone for the upcoming holidays. Just saying.

The Hearting Things Series - #1

Last week a girlfriend of mine asked me if I could help her out with a wedding present. After accepting the "challenge," I thought, hmmm....what will truly capture the magic of marriage, and who can I look to that really kicks ass in matters of the heart? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks - duh, Gob Bluth!

So I borrowed one of my fav Arrested Development moments - and this little gem of a wedding gift was born!



Gob: My God, what is this feeling?
Michael: Well, you know the-the feeling that you’re... that you’re feeling is-is what many of us call “a feeling.”
Gob: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s... it’s like my heart is getting hard.

Even Bad Asses Love Stitch Out Loud

As you can see even studly, bad-to-the-bone(rs) like Mr. Fuji need some Stitch Out Loud awesomeness.


This is a picture from a customer of mine. It cracks me up. What else could a pet frog need in his life but a volcano-like water bowl, some mulchy looking stuff, a few flies, a tropical plant, and of course a "Fuck that shit." cross stitch.

Yes.

Thanks C.

The Multifunctional Comeback

Use it any time, any place. It's pretty much perfect.


Face!

Fuckstick Friday

This is today's Friday "F" word.

So simple.
So direct.
So awesome.

Now go forth - and rock it this weekend!

I'm no angel...

...because it's simply more fun to be rowdy & mischievous.

If Snoop Dogg was a Grandma...

He'd have gin & juice for breakfast, pot shaped dollies and, of course, this little piece in his entry way.

The nice weather always inspires

Why spend the nice summer weather doing silly things like biking, camping and talking long walks? I say the best way to enjoy a fine sunny day is with a bevie in hand. If you can do any of the above with a drink...even better.

Here's a little ditty that I feel wraps up my sentiments perfectly.


Man, I love Jack Handy.

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk all that junk inside your trunk

"We snapped our necks 'round, lost the beat of the funk, and laid our eyes upon Maryjane's beautiful badunkadunk." -Urbandictionary.com

Although I was not "blessed" with a badunkadunk...here's to all the ladies that were.



I suppose this is also a tribute to Sir Mix-a-lot too. Because I basically had a dance to the entire Baby Got Back song in Middle School. It was pretty awesome. Holla.

"Arnold" WTF Celebriphrase #2

He's been Mr. Universe, the Terminator, Kindergarten Cop and even the Governor of California. He's also tall, brawny and infamous for all the "amazing" things that come out of his mouth.

This WTF celebriphrase celebrates (or blatently laughs at) Arnold's great bod, and his even greater conversational skills.


Available soon at my Etsy shop.

Throw your hands up!

This one is a shout out to all my gay guy friends - and the men and women who love them. There are just some things that are more fun to go out and do with a gay boy...period. Am I right or am I right?


SIDE NOTE: So just to clarify I'm talking about Moe as in Ho-mo-sexual. I am definitely not referring to the Japanese slang world for the fetish or love for characters in anime (which I just found out apparently is "Moe"...yikes). I'm just a total dumb ass and completely misspelled the word (usually Mo). So, let's just pretend there are two ways to spell Mo. Coolio? Yes.

Loving & Cocktails Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Some people enjoy the occasional [...or daily] happy hour.

I do both.


(Yes, those are mini hearts & livers in case you were wondering...)